Mannn…. having friends (or attempting to have friends is HARD). Now I have never really had this problem before, I have always made really good friends, pretty easily. But apparently EVERYTHING changes when you live with those friends, have class with those friends, and spends every waking moment with them. But the thing about close friend groups is that everything spreads like wild fire. You tell one person one thing and then it gets spread, but of course you don’t know its been spread, until you find out from someone else. AND when you find out something, you have to then decide whether to tell someone else or not. And if it is about you, then you have decide how to deal with it, because the person who started it didn’t actually tell you.
And then it is being spread around the friend group, the extended friend group, the people in your major, the professors, your future employer, your future friends, your future relationships. And at that point you really should just cut your loses, quit school, make a make-shift sail boat, and sail into the ocean to say your final goodbyes to the world.
Okay… that might be a bit dramatic. But, hey if I can’t be overly dramatic here on my rant blog, then where can I be? Anyway here is the story:
After the nighttime issue with Indigo (see last blog post) I completed my busy day, and then caught up with my friend Orange. Orange and I have an interesting relationship, because Orange was originally Indigo’s friend before we met, and then when we all became friends me and Orange hang out a lot. After every major issue Indigo always goes to Orange to rant. Until the big blow out that caused this whole thing a couple months ago Orange was completely fine with the job of listener and playing devil advocate, but when the blow out happened Indigo turned on Orange as well, and ever since then it has been different. After the blow out everyone started realizing each others character flaws. One of Indigo’s is that any disagreement you have with Indigo is taking personally. By disagreeing you are taking sides with whoever/whatever Indigo is ranting about. Orange’s job has thus gone from giving advice to listening and nodding.
ANYWAY, I went to hang out with Orange mostly because I missed hanging out together, and also because I knew Orange would have Indigo’s side of the story. And since I am never told how Indigo feels until it is spread around the whole world I find it interesting to try to hear it before then, it gives me an edge when I hear it come back to me. SO after hearing the enlightening argument that it was MY fault Indigo was angry because how dare I try to sleep, and I should have SPECIFICALLY SAID “YO INDIGO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE ROOM SO I CAN SLEEP YOU LOUD-ASS MOFO!!” (which I would never be so confident/rude to say anyway). Orange then informed me on the other aspects of their conversation.
SOME MORE BACKGROUND SORRY (DON’T HATE ME) Another member in our group is Coral, I lived on the same floor as Coral last year and we are living together next year (that is right there is an end at the end of the tunnel). Coral is one of my best friends and I basically lived at her house for a month over winter session. Coral wasn’t as involved in this blow-up and so has remained impartial for the most part. One of Indigo’s newest theories is that I am simply using Coral, and am not actually friends with Coral. Now what is interesting here is how Indigo believes I am using Coral. Apparently I AM USING HER TO REPLACE THE VOID THAT INDIGO LEFT BY US NOT BEING CLOSE FRIENDS ANYMORE. That’s right folks! I am using a friend I had before me and Indigo ever met as a basically REBOUND from mine and Indigo’s friendship?!? AND THAT IT IS SAD THAT I AM TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE CORAL LIKE ME, WHEN HER AND INDIGO CLEARLY HAVE THE STRONGER RELATIONSHIP!
I cannot express the eye-rolling that was happening during this conversation with Orange about this. Now maybe it all adds up to some psychotic fear I don’t understand of Indigo being terrified of being left out. And so in Indigo’s twisted mind, by thinking that the already established friendship is all a ruse that I am using to get over our failed one, so that she can deal with how I am moving on good for her. And I realize as I am typing this it legit sounds like we were in some kind of awful abusive romance. AND honestly I am sick of this middle-school-esqe shit! People do not treat their friends like that!
Now Coral and Indigo have never really spent time alone together outside of class, and Indigo has before expressed how certain things about Coral are annoying. YET APPARENTLY NOW THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER!
LIKE WOW I think I might need a neck brace from this sudden whiplash of your opinions Indigo. Beyond the fact that this whole situation is beyond ridiculous, I am more concerned that this like every other stupid opinion Indigo seems to have, might spread and while I trust mine and Coral’s friendship is a strong one, I know how persistent and persuasive Indigo can be. Indigo’s recent interest in Coral is also concerning, but I am not a jealous person and if this conversation had not happened Indigo’s intent on rendezvousing with Coral alone, wouldn’t even be a concern that crosses my mind.
MIND GAMES, MAN… MIND GAMES!! The greatest event in the friendship arena is mind games. And knowing your opponent is an important part of the games. So with this I will carry on, walk proudly into the arena and yell:
(as I then curl into a ball as I slowly watch all my peers leave me, and start creating my before stated make-shaft sail boat!) BUT HEY IN THE WORDS OF AWOLNATION…
And as always remember to smile at a stranger, thank a plant, and eat something covered in cheese (or just a potato if your lactose intolerant)! Have a nice day!